You learn some of life’s lessons from places you least expect it. It could be overhearing a conversation, you don’t mean to eavesdrop but the people at the table behind you, or on the bus are talking really loudly and you can’t help but listen in. It’s also a good trigger for stories.

The other night we had some friends from Australia over for dinner.  They are a great couple and we probably would never have met them, even though we lived in the same city in Australia. But fate played her cards and we did. They are a couple who have done the ex-pat thing for quite a number of years, this isn’t their first trip to the rodeo!  Unlike us, this is our first ex-pat experience.  We were talking about their experiences and the first time they went overseas, when they went back to visit the place where they thought they’d settle after their contract finished, it wasn’t what they wanted.It felt stifling to them.

For me at the back of my mind, I’ve always thought, hoped and wished, that we’d go back to our home town and everything would just fall into place. Family is there, immediate and extended. It’s where I grew up and I love it there. But it’s been three years since I’ve lived there permanently. Three years in which things have changed there and I’ve changed. I’ve been to the mountains in Colorado. I’ve visited New York and seen the Statue of Liberty. I’ve been to Trinidad. I’ve seen the Alamo. There is nothing of that significant historical value in Perth Western Australia.

Yesterday we went and saw Madagascar 3.  The main crux of the story is that the 4 main characters all want to go back to New York City and their Zoo. They want to go back to the familiar. They want to go home! But over their years away from the Zoo, they’ve changed. They’ve experienced amazing adventures.  They stand outside the Zoo and they look through the gates. The rock that Alex the Lion stood on didn’t seem so big anymore. The mural Marty looked at paled in comparison to the real thing. And for Gloria and Melman, there was a fence between them which they didn’t remember being there.  All of a sudden everything they thought they wanted, didn’t have the same appeal as it used to.

While I sat in the theatre watching that scene, it hit me, maybe Perth isn’t going to be everything I thought it would be and it scared me.  It’s my security blanket but what if it doesn’t comfort me anymore. What am I going to do? I want to be close to my parents. I want my kids to grow up with their cousins. I don’t want us to be strangers. But are we going to be able to go back to that life. The huge mortgage, the expensive living. I can honestly say, I’m kind of scared about going back home and being disappointed. I don’t want that.

The only thing I can do is live life and experience everything it has to offer. Who knows maybe my fears will be for nothing. Maybe……..

Is it possible to talk yourself out of things? Is it possible to do everything in your power to muck up your opportunities?

In some respects I think it can. There are plenty of people who get the requests after pitching or submitting and never send the requested material in. What?? You may holler, how could they give up their chance.

Well it’s quite easy really. It’s called self doubt. It’s those demons inside your mind that tell you you are writing crap. It’s the voices that say the editor is going to laugh at your efforts and wonder what the heck they could have possibly seen in you in the first place.

But the thing is don’t beat yourself up about those voices. What you need to do is beat them down. You need to look at every positive comment you’ve received from an editor in a rejection letter (yes they are there you just have to look with open eyes, not hurt eyes). It’s there in the contest comments where you may not have finalled but, something struck the judge to give you a high score.

Most importantly you have to believe in yourself and your abilities. An editor wouldn’t ask for more if they didn’t believe. So step on those doubts and take that step out of your comfort zone and submit, submit, submit.

NF